I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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