No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
