Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
