I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
