Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
