I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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