So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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