Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
