Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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