I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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