woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We need to rekindle our bromance
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
