I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I queefed so loud it echoed.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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