So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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