Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize