either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize