a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
