My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize