I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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