I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
