Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
