and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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