No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
