i don't like sucking hair
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
