You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
