it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
