Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
