I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
