And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
