Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You are the jesus of drinking
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
