Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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