everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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