How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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