I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
