How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You were trust falling into bushes
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
FUCK WHALES
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