KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
