and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
