I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My penis needs a shock collar
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
