Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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