I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
