i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
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