last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
