Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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