maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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