I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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