I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
