I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Dicks are not precious.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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