Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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