I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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