Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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