I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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