the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
