On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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