I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
we should paint friendship bongs
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
