But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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