i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
