Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
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I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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