i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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